Friday, 25 December 2009

Grief, By Catriona

Grief is a different experience for everyone, and there are no right and wrong ways of dealing with it. Often the ‘cycle of loss’ is evident in someone who has experienced a loss – feelings of denial, loneliness, anger, grief, and finally, letting go. But of course, it’s not the same for everyone, and whilst some people may take weeks or months to move through the process, others may take years.

Being such a personal, unique ordeal, it’s hard to find a universal way to help those going through it. But no matter what other methods the sufferer finds comforting, there is one that is undoubtedly essential and important for everyone – talking. Bottling things up and burying feelings will only lead to more problems further down the line, and the grief will never be fully dealt with.

It may take some time for the bereaved to be able to talk about their feelings – often it can simply be too painful and cause too much hurt. But eventually, in their own time, people will want to open up, and let go of their grief and keep the happy memories.

Often, people are reluctant to talk about their feelings. It can be particularly difficult when relating to bereavement, as it can be hard to find someone to turn to who is also not dealing with the same bereavement, and someone who can provide enough support.

Who to speak to is important, and affects how the bereaved goes through the cycle of loss. Sometimes a stranger can provide more help and support than those nearest and dearest.

Counselling offers a non-judgemental, safe and relaxing environment to discuss problems and feelings out loud, with the help of a trained professional. Underlying issues can be exposed and dealt with, and grief and all its associated feelings can be released.

The counsellor works with what their client tells them, dealing with the issues central to the grief, and offering practical solutions to working through the most difficult days and coming out the other side. They can also help the person adjust to their life without their loved one in it.

Depression can often develop after grief, and a counsellor is able to identify this and take measures to either try and prevent it or deal with it.

Counselling can also help with what happens after grief – coming to terms with how life has changed for those left behind, and how to honour the memory but not become hung up on it. Mourning can, in some cases, develop into depression, and a counsellor will be able to detect if this is happening, or prevent it.

Dealing with grief is one of the hardest experiences a person will have to go through. But there are people on hand to help, and though many people have reservations, counselling can be a hugely helping healing and cathartic process.

Counselling Directory provides an easy, worry-free way of connecting those that need help with those that provide it. Simply type in a location and a list of counsellors in the area are displayed, showing the distance from the original location. Each counsellor has their own profile, detailing at bit about themselves, their qualifications, and what areas they deal with. Many counsellors also list their fees. There is then the option to contact the counsellor directly.

To find a counsellor in your area, (UK) as well as information about grief and other types of distress, go to Counselling Directory.